Tuesday, July 22, 2014

The words " she has a lot of potential" vs. a behavior of resistance.

I was talking with a  parent who had a response that their child was not doing too well in school, they were getting by, but not doing as well as they could. Part of the equation as what they said, was a continual addition of  “ but they are really smart and have a lot of potential.”  This parent even went on to describe how the teacher said this. So,  the words presented to me were that of the child having behaviors of resistance to completing the work, and that that child had potential and was really bright.

Somehow this makes no sense. A behavior of resistance is a behavior of resistance, which means processing the work is not moving with ease, which means there is a conceptual process that is not functioning, is not moving. There is resistance. I ask myself the question, is the behavior of resistance what will become of the child as they reach adulthood because that is the very movement of the child? Is the potential the idea value, meaning the statement of the child having potential which the child is not realizing, something that can be noted? Having potential and exhibiting potential are two different things, as I have said in different words. Having potential is not a state of practical fruition, resisting is the state of being, the actual real time movement.

Now, parents pay a lot of money to take care of resistance because they realize that potential is nothing if it is not lived, exhibited. So, because parents are so busy, many send their children to private schools at an average of 45 - 50 thousand dollars a year. Or, they live in high real estate tax areas, and supplement with tutors, spending anywhere from 5 thousand to 20 or 30 thousand and beyond to even out resistance to become manifested potential.  Some parents take the time to sit and walk through the work, with consistency, to discover where the resistance comes into play.

In public schools, if I look at my cost per pupil expenditure, about 24 thousand is spent per child per year. This is half the sum of the private school. I wonder if I do the math, that with real estate taxes and tutors, the cost does not come out to be about the same in the long run, one just mixes living with room and board for the child, when living in high real estate tax areas with schools where there are parents who realize the value of sending their children to a good public school, this meaning an area where parents are willing, as a group, to focus on their children, realizing that building the character of the child is a process that must be carefully watched and carefully built, and that a  public school alone cannot do this, or, the parent realizing they do not have the time, and are willing to pay someone else to do this. And, since the cost of living to have another human being do this demands a certain amount of money, it is going to cost. I mean, you want to earn a good living, at least enough to remain stable do you not? And obviously, children need guidance, because they cannot recognize what is lacking structurally that is causing a lack of conceptual flow manifesting as behavioral resistance to completing their school work. That is why they are children and this is why what goes in, or lack of some missed understanding, is what comes out. Since the parents are the ones that spend the most time with the child, and are the ones who brought this child into this world, it is the responsibility of the parent. We could increase real estate taxes enough to pay another person to carefully monitor child development, but this is something the collective would have to come together to agree on. There are solutions out there: talking about potential is not problem solving.

I know from playing the violin, that if another cannot read the notes with ease, meaning to conceptualize the notes with ease, then the music is not created, does not manifest, the potential in the notes on the page does not manifest. I also know that someone who does not understand the means of how music works cannot improvise. Hence, when another does not flow with understanding then my ability to realize a piece of music with many parts simply does not manifest. 

It is the same with our children. If our children are not taught to manifest their potential, and if what resistance as lack of understanding, meaning flow, is not manifested, then we all suffer, and our own ability to manifest our potential is not realized. If one person , or a few realize their potential, and are able to conceptualize from and function with greater speed, then they will be alone, and as such where their potential as a collective will not reach others, nor will the society as a whole reach its full potential. Thus, if one child is left behind, then we are all left behind. And since the parents are the ones on the ground, who have birthed and created a child, one that will bring into the world their lack of potential manifesting as resistances where an ease of conceptual ability is not reached, this ends up effecting the very fabric of the society, for oneself and for the whole. Thus, it is the responsibility of a parent to ensure that their child reaches their full potential, and to monitor and watch for resistance to go into a common sense measure of reality in practical ways, to see where the “ glitch” is, where the conceptual turn is not understood with ease.

Our public schools cannot do this, they are not set up to do this, they are there to aid in this. Most children that do well have parents watching and supplementing the child’s development. And if a child is self motivated, they go back and review to see where their resistance as a conceptual miss take existed. I did this once with a subject. it took a lot of time, a lot of review. I did this very late in high school, and it was a learning experience, but it took all those years of school to realize. It should have been realized from the beginning, and it was probably realized because there were adults who showed this to me, who walked me through this to the point where i began to understand it. But here, even in college I had accumulated behaviors of resistance that I had to struggle with, resolve etc. and some were difficult because by then there was not always the time to be able to go back and review to discover where a conceptual lack existed, where a miss- take had occurred. This is why, it is even more important that a parent stay on top of behaviors of resistance and carefully even them out, without any reprimand, or impulsing of positive ideas, such as “ but they are smart and have so much potential” because such words do nothing. And, our teachers say such words because if they were to be real, and say that the parent has to take the time to discover why the resistance behaviors exist, most parents would complain to the principle, because someone had suggested that their child was in lack - so addicted to so called “ positivity” are we in America. But in effect, this “ positivity” is a smoke and mirrors show, an abdication of responsibility, one that builds a child that “ has potential” but behaves as their actions.

The solution is to find out where the units of measure as the words and the numbers are not clear, where there is a miss-step of lack of understanding, as resistance, as fear, and to clear this up. What we reject persists, what we resist persists and it is a gift because it shows us where we have a measure of lack conceptually. And, it is what we would have wanted for ourselves.

This is what Techno-Tutor is and does. It is the means to build the character of the child to reach their full potential. It is the means, for busy parents to get the units of measure as words and numbers into such a knowing state that the child moves with ease conceptually. Techno- Tutor is the means to even out behaviors of resistance so that that child reaches their full potential, and as such each child reaches their full potential because this is our responsibility as parents. No one can be left behind, and there is no one to do this but that parent living with that child. The only way out, is for all children to reach their full potential. Any spite towards this, is spite, is resistance, and as we know, resistance goes no where but into consequences of more resistance, which is a lack of conceptual flow with reality.

In so many ways it is so simple, and it is right in front of us. We need only accept this simplicity and forgive our shame and our fear and our blame and empower ourselves within this solution because this will bring the ease we all long for, which is to reach our full potential, which is to be able to produce the notes on the page, and create the flowing sound as the music - so to speak. To resist is to cut off our noses despite our face. And we all know that this does not work. So, face your resistance for what it is, and realize that the solution is to become equal to our natural ability to sense the whole and the parts, this that simply needs to be walked through with care, as the words and the numbers. The tools are here to aid in this, within our busy society. The benefits are great, as that object as that child, is the most important object a person can have in one’s environment. It would be like having a car that functions beautifully, is always ready, flows with ease, and ensures that in our old age, we have the warmth we need to remain comfortable. I mean, would you not do this for your parents if you could, and would you not be thankful for that which as a measure was revealed to you, shared with you, enabling you to actually become the behavior of as your full potential?

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