What is a solution for applied behavioral modifications? Is the answer right in front of us?

I have heard parents of young children, the ages before grade school, so often tell me that they are not worried about their children doing well in school, because their children are so bright and have such good language skills that they are fine.

I have had older parents, with older children talk about the early promise in their children somehow being lost.

I have had older parents, often second marriages, and or a later-in-life child, talk about how intelligent and gifted this new child is, and how they are not worried about the new child because the child  is so able.

And then, again, the move into wondering what happened to that earlier promise and the child matures and somehow does not live up to expectations.

Meanwhile, we all understand that children can learn languages much faster than adults. Thus, on the one hand we understand that somehow that early ability exists and is lost as we mature, and on the other hand when we are in that moment of that ability in a young child to absorb so rapidly, we believe that that is somehow going to remain, despite the research and our own experience.

This is because in ignorance, in that slowing down of that ability to learn languages so rapidly, we forget. But then this forgetfulness would be equal to the loss of that ability to learn so rapidly. So, we are essentially, as we mature, moving into a lack of learning ability, a loss of an initial rapid learning ability, a superior memory, which is a natural assessing ability to rapidly see patterns and order them, into no longer having this ability, and yet we end up making judgements about the ability of the child, saying we need not worry, despite the research, and then later wondering what happened. Obviously, we are not stepping outside of our own beliefs here. We have become that of which we speak, that loss of seeing patterns and taking in information in rapid ways that can assess and conceptualize quickly, enough so that we can learn a new language with ease as does that child, thus we are what we lost, and we believe that loss to be more real that how we started. And, the research is right there describing this very outcome. Is this being lost behind a veil? Yes.

I was talking with a parent, the one I started this blog about, and here I was once again, facing a parent who was convinced that this younger child he had later in life, was so very adept that he wanted for nothing.  And he is not lying, at that age the child  is extremely adept at taking in the world and creating some order from it. Learning the language is very fast, and so much fun to watch.

Then, as third grade approaches something begins to happen. What is happening is the loss of this ability, this rapid ability to assess and absorb the measure of this actual real world, and the language. Then a period of denial comes in, where the parent will state again and again that the child is very talented and capable, that they know, really know that the child is capable. I have even had parents say to me, when I asked them what they wanted,  that they just wanted the teachers in the school to see the capability of their child, how talented and gifted their child is.

Meanwhile the research is there, and it is a question that has existed for a long long time. That children learn languages rapidly when they are young and then as adults this appears to no longer exist. We end up wondering where this went, without looking at the fact that this is a pattern that exists and a question that has been asked.

The behavior of the parents in this wonder, is indicative of the  loss of the ability to assess and see the patterns that enabled the ability to learn so rapidly. It is the conceptual ability caught in a belief, caught in a memory without looking at the research that asks the question as to why this rapid learning ability is lost!

We humans are very much like computers, we take in information and we build a memory of this information. We then move as this information only. We fill up our memories with information that is then valued and allowed to define us, and we end up using that ability to assess space and time into reading our memories and defining ourselves as the values in relation to our memories! Thus, we lose our connection to assessing the reality around us. How many have lost a sense of depth perception that are reading this? How many have difficulty parking a car without banging up against something? How many have bumped into doorways, or become anxious in getting things done in your every day life? How many have lost the lightness of movement that is in the child as they run without seeming to get tired? All of this is a loss of using that part of you that payed attention to the real world around us, and instead starting using a memory to be the measure of one’s self here.  And for those who lack depth perception, as those who talk and wonder about where the initial potential of the child went, if you are the model of that lack, and that child imitates your behavior with that absorbent ability, what do you think is going to become the measure of that child? They are going to become just like you. Can you rapidly learn languages as that child could when they were young that was why one believed that child was special? And,  because of this there was no need to consider thinking about how prevention of what we understand happens to us might be something to investigate ? 

Something is slowing us down from an innate ability to learn, to absorb. And since we understand that we have a memory, perhaps it is that what we are in memory is separating us from being in perception of what is here, as that fence we bump into because somehow we have lost our sense of space here. Thus, our memories are immersed, or suffused with value judgements that occupy our presence and distort our focus and we lose our initial promise, as our ability to sense with spatial awareness this reality. Our spatial awareness is caught in the web of memory filled with values that we define ourselves as, separating ourselves from being present in life.

We also know that once a person learns another language , it becomes easier to learn the next language. This means that once one has structural development, that structure enables a more rapid ability to take in more structure. 

So, our experiential maps as our memories are not being formed in ways that allow us to retain that spatial ability, which is to retain an awareness of physical space and time. We bemuse like a ‘ time” of the memory, which is a time of values over being present in the space of reality where we can see the parts and the whole, and assess patterns around us, and distance, which we have as children. Thus our awareness in space is lost.

This is evident in the form of our education system. Why do we collect data on a child in a box? Do we attempt to collect data on a tiger as to what that tiger is capable of from what that tiger is doing in a zoo? 

As parents, our responsibility is to form a sound character, a character who can learn, choose and succeed. We measure children by the words they know, the clarity of the meaning of the word and the amount of words as what structures that child, because this gives the child the ability to chose, learn and succeed in life. 

Is this not what you would have wanted, the confidence to learn, the freedom to choose and the self esteem to succeed?  Why not build a superior memory?

Words are the perfect structural foundation for building a sound mind.

We learn to do things through spaced repetition. Even our infamous Karate movies reveal this to us. As we “ paint the fence” we integrate the small move and then are able to integrate more in relation to that one small move, which is expanding in awareness. Within this, we also must be careful to not become automatic in our moves, because this can lead to rushing and then mis-takes, leading to insecurity if we do not understand how this works and define ourselves by our mistakes, instead of simply realizing we have lost touch with what we have programmed ourselves to be. If we become automated, then we are allowing a program to exist as us without awareness. It is to say that one’s presence must always cross reference what one is doing, moving through the inner  knowledge base and checking it with the information of practical reality, like placing one’s presence in something, knowing the structure. This is that which can move through the ‘ eye of the needle” and remain constant, becoming small and big, depending on what one is doing. This is in essence the development of creative and critical thinking skills as one being present in full focus. Words are the perfect placeholders for this measure of being present.

If the physical is not programmed clearly, or does not have opportunity to be programmed, as in exposed to anything and everything that is here moving in visibly understandable ways as the physical is right in front of us, then we have human behavior with this inherent great ability, in frustration and lack, unable to see directly, and thus having a memory that is limited, and the voice to match as often the limitations are what is argued because this is the process of the program voicing itself, as that sense tries to understand by placing what is known in front of itself to see it and deconstruct to reconstruct, because the nature of that which can cross reference reality ultimately learns when given the chance.

Within this, that sense, that presence must have exposure to forms, to be able to move as itself in volume - so to speak- to practice changing inner form and building understanding of reality as its memory of life. If this capacity is given a limited and set from of information, and little chance of exposure to more and more forms, then that inner memory, or gps, system, or program, becomes stagnant and limited.

For this reason, evident in educational research, the amount of words a child learns in the first seven years, will determine the amount of flexibility and changeability a child can have, and as such, their obvious ability to take in information in the limited format by design of our schools, and will determine how well they can process knowledge and information - like they already have some measure to change with, some structural ability within developed. A lack of this, leads to greater and greater insecurity. Overall, this development as it exists in our schools, is within the gamut of potential within a human being, extremely limited. We are simply so caught up in the forest of the last 100 or more years, that we no longer see the forest through the trees. Which reveals the diminished conceptual ability overall in our society. Yes, we have products of this teaching our children, though well meaning, overall our conceptual ability in total is in lack.

And yet the answer is right in front of us because of this; when we are exposed to words, we are exposed to form and function, we are exposed to different perspectives, to different knowledge, to different realizations as to how behaviors are within people and the physical things we use to live.

So, vocabulary is structural development. We know that we learn through repetition, spaced repetition, and we know that exposure enables us to take in new information, and that this expands our awareness because we learn to read the score of practice in a physical world.

I think many of us have been to a graduation where the class valedictorian stands and gives a speech. There are some on  YouTube that are worth watching. These young adults obviously have some command of language and the product of such structural development which is self esteem. They can stand and speak, and even point out to their peers and their teachers the faults of the system. They show the capacity of a human who has somewhat of a clear structure to guide them within to enable them to have the courage to be self honest. They can conceptualize, they can communicate, the are flexible. They have some critical and creative thinking skill development.

Thus, words are the perfect units of measure to build an inner structure that creates a child who can think critically and creatively. and as such speak clearly, which builds self esteem and self honesty; something that is in lack in our present world.

The simplicity of this is so clear that anyone, any parent can become self responsible in the raising of their child, especially since the tools to do so are here.  Within this understanding of the importance of a solid foundation as the words we know, a parent will no longer be at the whim of a system that by design interrupts the natural learning/absorbent mind ability of the child through constant interruption because of scheduling restraints and peer pressure distractions  and lack of family time at home because of both parents working, and presented knowledge and information that is not the whole story and that has no space in the systemic design for practical application. The parent can ensure that the words are placed and structurally aligned within the child to build the means to communicate and process information with ease, to build the assets that is the child, into a person with self confidence and self esteem because they will be able to see directly creating a memory that is flexible and able to change without resistance to new information because the words as the structure will allow communication and a structured reference system to reflect with to think critically and creatively. This is  a quality of character that can withstand the changing world we live in today. Those units as those words, are the perfect structural foundation to bring presence into the many decisions we make that determine the outcome of our lives. This is what we would all want for ourselves, so, to build a structure of words within a person, gives a child, and the parent by extension, the gift that keeps on giving for a lifetime; a structure within that can read the score and process information in new and creative ways that solve problems and build a character that focuses directly fulfilling their real potential as life.

The process of building an abstract that is equal to the concrete. Bringing our ADHD and ADD children, here.

I watched this video of a girl training a horse. She took small steps, slowly, to build a sense of ease with the horse, moving through reactions the horse had built in relation to touch. Eventually, she was able to connect with the horse having built a steady trust.

It is no different when working with a child. To start from the beginning, focusing the child from their natural learning ability, this that builds the abstract mind, this that takes in the forms presented.

If we allow compound forms, as fairy tales, for example, that impulse ideals, making an aspect of reality huge, ignoring a practical process of a natural ability to take in the environment, in detail, to become equal to the real names of objects as the physical and their function and way of utility, then we have built an abstract within the child that is equal in understanding to the total measure of the physical world around them. Here, if they decide to work more directly with the physical, or learn a language of digits and symbols as letters that delineate objects, that allow a perspective of organization on paper, they have a fuller, and thus more substantial connection to what is essentially, the process of life, as physical beings. As such they are more stable, more productive, more self directive. Their abstract is more equal to the concrete world. Instead of judging, they have a practical common sense ability. Their abstract map is connected to reality, a direct memory.

I worked with one autistic child, who, after working together, stood and went into conditioned behaviors. He stood in his kitchen and repeated over and over these impulsed words - which is this boy defining himself as what he has learned - “ I am a good boy, I am a winner, that is what I am isn’t it mom?!” It is not that this is true or not true, bad or not bad, it is that this is a positive reinforcement repeated again and again that has been accepted by the boy as what is supposedly proper and “ right.”  It is in many ways, a way to deal with a lack of direction, perhaps to calm a child etc.. I can see where this is cute at age 12, but at 20, is this going to be cute? No. And, will  that child then become the blame for its behavior when this is what has been impulsed into the child in lieu of taking the time to walk that child into a “ touch” with practical movement in common sense of physical reality? Can we begin to understand how a building of idealisms actually separate a child from a common sense development, that is overall,  how the child begins their world - as that movement of building an abstract likeness of reality- from a starting point of pure common sense ability? Can we begin to understand how we as parents, have actually created that “ distraught horse”/child and now must walk that child back into common sense, and that this is going to take some patient time that many schools are simply not a structure to carry this out?

It is much like, as I see it at this point, that each parent is going to have to become a teacher of “ Helen Keller.”

There is a tool that is a very organized means to walking, lol, ourselves, and that child, back into practical equality with reality. It organizes vocabulary,, and moves at the speed of the natural learning ability, to build a vocabulary that is a placeholder without added positive and negative values, where the meaning of the word can be added that is practical. This is a practical process that builds a solid foundation of understanding that has a direct seeing ability enabling the child to be grounded in common sense, and as such , no longer a skittish fearful behavior, which we see so many children, in essence, reacting as.

Reading is more than just reciting words on a page, it is the child using an abstract as the mind, as their physical instruments of life, reading the world around them, to the point where they are equal in practical common sense to physical reality, and words and numbers on a page, to see the patterns and forms of what is here, either in word or form. This then creates a child that has attention grounded in reality and the behaviors to match.

A school cannot correct this in the child, this can only be done by parents. And within this, it is the responsibility of the parents to ensure that the child is grounded, because an ungrounded child brings behaviors into the classroom that disrupt the group and slow down the process of learning new forms of measure taught. 

The solution, is simple and as I have said many times to children that I have taught the violin to, to begin practicing a little every day, so as not to become overwhelmed. And as a solid foundation is built, there is a building joy, in equal measure, as a common sense is developed that enables self movement, self direction and thus communication and interaction with here. And then, just as with that horse, a relationship is built that is solid, fun, interactive, grounded, stable, trustworthy.

So, the solution is here, right in front of us, we need only take the time and apply ourselves.

Building Trust, building stability.